A note to the individual I was scheduled to interview today:

Well, hello!

I really loved traipsing an hour across town, in a week where I have four deadlines to meet. I also enjoyed waiting for another hour in a busy cafe while you didn't show up. I'm so glad I'm now an entire afternoon behind in a week where I seem to have more to do than any freelancer ought to.

P.S. In the words of Homer Simpson, in case you can't tell, I am being sarcastic.